The Gift of Time

Childhood memories...just the term itself conjures up images of children snuggling into their parents laps for storytime. Or maybe little miniature marshmallows floating on top of steaming mugs of hot chocolate (as the Nestle or Swiss Miss jingle begins to play). Don't get me wrong, these are also the kind of things I want to share with my kids, but when I stop and think about it, are those the things that I really remember from my younger days?

I will be the first to admit that I had a great childhood. Aside from a few, shall we say, heated disagreements with my folks or brothers and sisters, everyone got along pretty well. That's not a small feat for a family as large as ours. I'm the youngest of 6 kids; please don't call me "The Baby"- I might just start to cry and go tell on you. While I remember there being financial struggles, I don't remember feeling like we were poor - except for the time when my mom and dad promised I could join the bowling league when I was 6 and I had to wait until I was 7 because my dad lost his job that year. As an adult, I realize that my reaction to this news was somewhat, well, childish. But I was crushed! I mean, it wasn't my fault that my dad lost his job. I wanted to bowl!! My parents and I have since moved on and new enjoy weekly bowling excursions - Dad watches as Mom and I bowl our hearts out in a women's league.

Anyway, most of my vivid childhood memories involve injury and humiliation - and I am grateful for that. When my brother threw a dart at my leg because I insisted on standing in front of the dartboard in the middle of a game, that taught me the importance of following directions. When I asked my sister for makeup help, she told me to close my eyes and that she would do it for me. When I opened my eyes and realized that she had covered my entire face in several layers of blush, that taught me to consider the consequences of my actions. When I got hit in the stomach with a softball, that taught me to always pay attention to what's going on around me. I could go on and on.

These are the things that I want for my kids. Stories and memories that they can look back on as adults and hopefully laugh at (and then share with anyone who is willing to listen). I want them to know that no matter how unfunny something seems at the time (seriously, who puts blush all over someone's face??), that all it takes is a little time and perspective to make them realize that childhood is FUN.

For more other bloggers' takes on childhood memories, check out Scribbit's March Write-Away Contest .

Wordless Wednesday

Unprompted helpfulness...now that REALLY leaves me speechless!

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What Emma taught me today...

While both are used for cleaning, The vacuum cleaner is NOT a good place to store the feather duster...

Bongo Bottom and other unflattering descriptions

Funny Jake Comment #1
Jake: (begins hitting object with alternating hands) Hey, Mommy! It's like a drum!

The object, you ask? My hiney, of course!

Funny Jake Comment #2
Jake: Once upon a time, there was an old, prickly man named Daddy and an old, old woman named Mommy...

Gee. Thanks.

O.K. So this is my first Smart Habit Saturday. Head on over to Lara's site at The Lazy Organizer to find out more, but basically it's just like it sounds. Every Saturday (or so), I will pick a new habit and then blog about my progress.

This week, I will spend 15 minutes a day of uninterrupted, no TV, joyful time with each of my kids. So that's 15 minutes alone with Jake, and 15 minutes alone with Emma. The time with Emma might be a little harder because, well, Jake is always there. And he doesn't like to play by himself at all. He's very social. But I'll give it a whirl.

Dave and I were talking last night about why Jacob does the things he does and why he is so aggressive and can be quite disagreeable. And we think it all comes down to attention. And I am sad to admit that it hit me last night that I don't pay too much attention to Jake. I am always with him, but I am usually focused on other things (cleaning, laundry, Emma, etc.) and when I do pay attention to him, it's to point out flaws and punish him for them. And then I read Lara's post today and she includes the quote "We cannot teach principles that we do not know and that we do not live. Who we are and what is in our heart are discerned by children more quickly than we think." How can I teach Jake to hold his temper and to look for the good things if I don't do it myself?

I had started to read a book a while back called Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, and this habit comes directly from the book. I started to put it into practice but as soon as I saw improvement in Jake, I stopped. And he has regressed, so it's time I start being more proactive instead of reactive. Hopefully we'll get along a little better! Wish me luck!

Mommy, You Be HAPPY!!

As my wonderful husband can attest to, these 4 words make me want to run screaming for the hills. Seriously, they drive me nuts. And that's all I've been hearing today. And now Jake says it so much that Emma is starting to say it. It's a little funnier when she says it, though, because, well, she's 2. Anyway, this is what happens...

Jake knows how to press my buttons. Whether that's a conscious thing remains to be seen. But boy does he push. It kind of reminds me of this show on Noggin called "The Upside Down Show" which is about kids using an imaginary remote control to control what happens on the TV ("...whoa, we're jumping! You must have hit the JUMP button..."). But it's a little more like this:

Mommy: Jacob, please don't ____________ (insert bad behavior here).
Jacob: (Committs bad behavior)
Mommy: (loses control)
Narrator: Whoa, look at Mommy! Jacob must have hit the bad behavior button! Look at her go!

Anyway. After I lose control, Jacob starts whining "Mommy, you be HAPPY!" At this point I try to explain to Jacob that when he ____________ (insert bad behavior here), it makes Mommy unhappy. So he commits the bad behavior again, I lose control again, and he says "Mommy, you be HAPPY!" I've tried ignoring him, I've tried explaining it to him, but he seems hell bent on wanting me to BE happy but not doing things that he knows will MAKE me happy.

And so I vent, and the day goes on...

Alright, already!

I think someone is trying to tell me something...

The kids were a little uncooperative this morning and I felt myself getting very frustrated very early. Jake just wasn't listening and Emma would not stop JABBERING. I mean, constant noise. So I pile them in the car to take Jake to school and run errands with Emma. I thought maybe a little music would calm them down so I turned on the radio and started to sing along (and, no, I didn't think my singing would help. I just like to pretend I'm a rock star), but they just yelled and jabbered over the music which caused me to sing louder which caused them to jabber louder and I'm surprised we didn't get pulled over or something. And so I drop off Jake and since I didn't have time to make coffee this morning, I stopped at Starbucks for some cappucino. Yeah, great idea. Let's add caffeine to the mix.

Anyway, I get to the (small) store and Emma would not be quiet. She wasn't crying or screaming, she just wouldn't stop making noise. I should have kept track of how many times she said "Mommy" but I was too busy wondering if anyone else in the store was getting a headache. When I went to check out, the cashier said "Well someone's in a good mood". And that made me stop and think that yes, at least she was in a good mood. At least she WASN'T crying or screaming. So I left the store a little happier.

At lunch with Dave, he says "Hey, I started a blog today". I instantly started teasing him and calling him a copycat (aren't I the loving wife), but I told him I would take a look when I got home. When I logged onto Just Another Day in My Life, two thing struck me. 1, I was happy he used a good picture of us. I love that picture. And 2, I realized he was going to blog about taking the time every day to be thankful for things in his life. I instantly IMed him and told him what a great idea for a blog that was. But I started to see a trend developing.

After checking Dave's blog, I went on over to my friend Christine's blog at Fruit in Season, and lo and behold, her post is a Thankful Thursday post. She, too, is having a not so great day at home, but yet she was still able to stop and take the time to realize things she is thankful for.

O.K. I get it. I need to stop more and realize the good things that are good in my life instead of just joking (or not) about the bad. But why is it so hard to do that? Why is it so much easier to joke and make light of the tantrum but not mention the unprompted "I love you, Mommy" I got today?

Who ever thought blogging would make me think...